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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of 3, Big Noise, Second Nature, There Or Thereabouts, Split, Laws Of Gravity, Sometimes You Have To Look Back, Woe Now!, and 80 more.
1. |
I Need My Inhaler
00:34
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(A song about being ugly and having shit lungs)
I've been homeless
I've had scabies
I've got asthma
I’m fucking ugly
All these things that don't kill me, they only make me weaker and not want to get out of bed.
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2. |
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(A song about having a staring match with a dog. It won, by the way)
Looking through that dirty window across both the back gardens
and made eye contact with a dog
I assumed what it was thinking so I refrained from blinking
but it seemed to have it sussed and I really could not compete
This is what it's come to
this is how I pass my time
I look into a stranger's kitchen and have a staring match with their canine.
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3. |
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(A song about having night terrors)
Every night I only seem to dream of someone dying
It could be me or you, no I can't choose
but I'm blaming it for all the sleep I lose
This demon needs outing
I've had enough of waking up shouting
And thinking there's a screwdriver stuck in my chest
It's no wonder I'm a mess
I'm sick
I'm shattered
I never thought it mattered
That I see someone crawling up my bed and wrapping the sheets around my head
I'd try sleeping pills but I am afraid that I might never fucking wake up.
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4. |
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(A song about having flashbacks)
Chronic panic attacks
Reoccurring flashbacks of back when I was 6 years old
I don't want you inside my head anymore.
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5. |
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(A song about being cold and walking around in the rain to waste time before one of your friends gets home to let you sleep on their couch for the night)
Can I use your shower?
Can I use your washing machine?
I got soaking wet when walking here tonight
Can I watch your TV?
Can I waste all of your electricity?
Cos my own company is boring me, but most importantly...
Can you leave the heating on?
Can you leave the heating on all night?
I know it's expensive but it'll be totally shite if it's too cold to sleep again tonight
I'm fucking warning you
Don't turn it off...fucking leave it on.
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6. |
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(A song about wasting time hanging around with shitty people)
What a fuckin' waste of time
This whole thing has been a waste of time
Just like getting out of bed or like falling in love
It's all been a waste of time
You'll never get the last few minutes back or “get” the last few years and nor will I
I swear you're fucking killing me
It's time to stop wasting time
It's time you stopped wasting all of my time
It's time I stopped wasting all of your time
I don't like your company, you don't like mine
It's time we stopped wasting each other's time.
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7. |
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(A song about getting therapy)
I never thought at the age of 25
That I'd be in a doctor's office because I didn't want to be alive
He tells me that I'm brave but I know I'm just a coward
And I'm losing at the war inside my head
Hello, misery
I heard that you like company
And I've got nothing else to do
So why don't we hang out.
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8. |
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(A song about listening to CDs to help with panic attacks)
Lately I've not been myself
I'm willing to try out things that might help
me not to lose every night and struggle through every day
I can't concentrate but I'll try me best
To feel the pressure in my fist and chest
But what the fuck will I do if the trigger doesn't work?
What the fuck will I do now that the trigger doesn't work?
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9. |
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(A song about spending too much time in the shower)
I stand in the shower for way longer than I used to
Staring at formerly white tiles with my mind fucking racing
Drinking another lukewarm beer and trying to slow down my heart rate
I guess that my personal hygiene has improved but my head's still such a fucking mess
I thought I had it sussed this time
Part of me is still convinced I do
But that part has been defective for years
I've been trying to kill it off, much like I've killed the rest
I know that I'm creating more problems for myself
Just simply to avoid the task at hand
But my primitive thoughts are telling me "prepare to die alone"
I'd smash my fucking skull to get them out, but I'm just so exhausted.
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10. |
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(A song about being ugly on both the outside and inside)
My body is a temple that nobody will worship
or even take a look at, avoid contact at any cost
My body is a temple that's clearly dilapidated
Too late for restoration and I find it hard to care
It's decaying on the outside and drowning on the inside
The alcohol is corrosive
My organs don't stand a chance
My body has a built-in clock that's always at the wrong time
The hands both spin in opposite directions
and the face is fucking smashed
My body has a GPS that's always in the wrong location
It panics at every turn until the battery runs out
My body is a temple
I wish someone would knock it down.
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11. |
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(A song about how playing in a touring band ruins your chances of having anything close to a normal life...but who wants a normal life anyway?)
I've been drinking less and sleeping more
and doing my best to not ignore
when I feel like I'm pushing everyone away
But there's always thoughts in the back of my mind
pushing forward and lately I'm finding it hard to care about keeping them at bay
As the years go by the less I want to fucking die
but the more I feel like giving up
All I have now are three chord songs and the art of being wrong
It'll kill me wondering where you went
but I'm genuinely afraid of being content.
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12. |
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(A song about sleepwalking)
Why is my piss everywhere?
Why is there blood in my hair?
Why did I come to running halfway up the stair?
I was asleep inside with clothes on
Now I'm half naked on your front lawn
I don't understand why the guy that was sucking up to me last night won't shake my hand
but that's okay
He was a fucking dick anyway
I'm a total joke when I'm awake and not in control when I sleep.
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13. |
Wanking Is Still Honest
01:22
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(A song about being a crybaby piece of shit)
On my own again
Close to smashing up my phone again
But thank god that wanking is still honest
Cos I guess that's what I'll be doing from now on
As if I ever stopped, as if I ever will
Out of luck again
100% fucked again
But thank god that I've got people to talk to
But it feels like talking is all I've been doing for years
It seems like it never stops
I hope someday it will
So darling, just sit still
Look me in the eye
Tell me that I fucked up and you hate me and you hope that I fucking die
Because that would be easier to take
Than sitting here and wondering why
Things are clearly over but nobody is saying goodbye.
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14. |
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(A song about trying not to die)
5 years on, and everything seems muddied up yet so clear
I’m confused yet I know what I have to do here
In order to avoid all of this praying to no one
To please just let me win this time
I’d trade all these songs for something better
But I know I can’t so I’ll just keep on holding out
I know the sun’s behind those dark clouds
I’ll keep asking them to slow down
so I don’t keep on waking up
Every morning with these itchy wrists, a swollen skull
I don’t want to scratch or relieve the pressure.
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15. |
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(A song about BDD)
Did you see that fucking prick? The one that was looking right back at me?
I’m so sick of the things he says, like “Look at how you’ve turned out – you disgust me”
and “you won’t get anywhere at all if you’re not handsome and symmetrical”
but I’ve finally figured out that he’s not real
I put the mirror back up and close the door, I won’t live like that anymore.
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16. |
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(A song about needing more sleep)
Is is too bright or not bright enough?
Either way everybody's screaming at me
I keep overthinking everything when I know that there’s no point
and I should take it easy
I’ve come too far without kicking the chair out
I’ve learned to simplify and try to take my time
and even though it bums me out when I hear you say that
every night inside your head you feel the worlds collide
And you can’t seem to untangle your insides
And that the grass is always greener on the suicide
Well, I promise that you’re wrong.
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17. |
The Perfect Tour Seagull
00:08
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(A song for Brandon)
I still find myself in tears at the sound of your 16ths
But in my heart and mind you’re still alive
We all know you’re too tough to die.
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18. |
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(A song about taking a trip to hell)
It feels like I’ve somehow ruined everything but I don’t know how
One minute we were having fun and now I’m bleeding out
Anyway, I’m so sorry for everything
When/if I snap out of this I’ll do my best to sort things out
But for now
Please find the sharpest stone and smash my skull.
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19. |
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(A song about a reoccurring dream I used to have)
I had a dream last night you were still alive and you'd straightened yourself out
You'd come to visit every now and then, we had lots of things to talk about
You told me you were proud of me but this time to my face
and not in a weird caps lock message sent years ago on MySpace
I told you not to worry, you'd just went down the wrong path
and that hopefully someday we could look back and laugh
at all the times I spent freezing to death in that driveway in the snow
Begging, crying, screaming, pleading you to please not go.
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20. |
Wank Florida Wank
01:32
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(A song about not wanting to be a sad piece of shit anymore)
Not one more year of this please
I don’t want to keep on losing days
I'm through with sucking out the poison and spitting it in my own face
I’m trying hard to write that ending, and I’ve purchased you new headphones
So you can drown me out for as long as you need
I probably should do that too
When I wake up in these cold sweats thinking I hear you downstairs
When I know nobody's there
All those dreams of burning cars and skin grafts never made much sense
But sometimes these days being awake does
So I promise not to jump the gun, so you won’t have to dodge a bullet
And I won’t have to stare out of my bedroom window thinking about throwing my whole body through it
Cos if there's one thing I know without a doubt
It's that I'm through with feeling hopeless, lost and lonely and I'm done with looking for another way out.
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Brassneck Records Cardiff, UK
Brassneck Records began life in 2010 as a punk vinyl distro via a spare bedroom in a terraced house in Cardiff (UK). 2013 (finally) saw Brassneck attain "label" status with the release of the debut LP from Chestnut Road (technically the 3rd release on the label). ... more
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