Anti​-​Charisma Wholesale

by Don Blake

/
1.
I’m a human tetromino On a permanent Japanese game show I’m sure I can find some more give in my bones On the edge of a paradigm shift My mind ablaze, my thoughts adrift That voice I can’t quite trust sounds just like my own I can’t find oblivion in the places I used to My body’s revolting At being told what to do Memories fade like morning frost Hello perpetual present, the past is lost And the future is a closed door Your unreliable narrator Your faithful procrastinator Humbly presents another tidy headfuck Take each day at a time Like dominos, tracing straight lines Who could resist giving a little push? I can’t find oblivion in the places I used to My body’s revolting At being told what to do Memories fade like morning frost Hello perpetual present, the past is lost Take in a deep breath, this is it
2.
Creep out the side door Glance up to the sky Question your backbone Retreat back inside Reality’s fading, And so is your time, It’s getting so easy, To stop asking why. Back to the start, With a swing and a miss, Throw up your arms, And just settle for this, Cognitive dissonance, Once in a while, Don’t ask why Someone else is accountable It’s a comfortable lie, But these bones won’t heal themselves, And the fractures, they’re wide. This grip isn’t loosening, Restricting my air again, Contentment: a former friend, Next stop: oblivion Back to the start, With a swing and a miss, Throw up your arms, And just settle for this, Cognitive dissonance, Once in a while,
3.
Penitent One 01:30
Alive Only on the outside Black Hole Spaghettified my pride Aren’t you the salt of the earth I’m as salty as the sea But nowhere near as deep (So shallow) Stones thrown Blackened my blue eyes Blood spilled Scabbing up and dried Penny for the guy Hung, drawn and quartered Watch my effigy fry Fragments of guilt I toss aside Secrets contain my biggest lie Sorry that I made you sad I didn’t think I was that bad Despite having been put through hell It’s good to see you’re doing well I’d rather just take half the blame The burden’s driving me insane Maybe I deserve it though
4.
I’d forgotten how it felt to remember The words you said to me An extended cut played on repeat Holding out my hands, thinking on my feet Next time, I’ll get ‘em next time The broken clock agrees The morning tastes so fresh and clean Could I get a written guarantee? In the quiet moments Deafening loud Doomed to isolation Lost in the crowd I can’t stop I missed the starting gun I am yesterday After tomorrow’s gone A spinning compass Swimming through broken glass Tonight I’m a sad song that has been forgotten A tree branch, crooked and rotten Eternal war With no one keeping score For now Summer makes its to exit stage right The shivers just mean that I’m alive Nostalgic echoes can’t help omit Unwelcome narrative parts and their awkward fit I’m on a psycho-archeological dig now Met a skeleton with a matching brush Cast me in bronze, meet me at the gates Carve out more thinking time, believe me, I can wait The dams, all built with papier mache fronts Holding back the flood of something I said once I’m falling Forgot which way is up It’s “all relative”? Or “I’ve just had enough”? A circular debate where I’ve got nothing to say again I’m seeing spirals Buried in everything Zen/hellraiser Just alternating A faceless man fixated on a plan Long crumbled into dust before he took a look at it
5.
Haze Again 02:36
Just another groundhog hangover, Swallowing regrets while I’m sober enough, I don’t want to do this again Just because I don’t, Doesn’t mean I won’t It’s a tired, well-worn pattern of self abuse, Cross a heart and hope to die there is no use, “In no uncertain terms”, once said, “Will I ever make this permanent” A temporary haze, again It never seems to ring true When I blame the gene pool, You would be so proud now I’m opening up I don’t want to do this again Just because I don’t, Doesn’t mean I won’t It’s a tired, well-worn pattern of self abuse, Cross a heart and hope to die there is no use, “In no uncertain terms”, once said, “Will I ever make this permanent” A temporary haze, again
6.
Polaroid 03:06
Take your fistful of those plastic chips Release them from sweaty fingertips All on black, wait, I take it back I am made of lists and inconsistencies Half baked plans, and trite mysteries, Less than the sum of their parts? A shifting state Not here to stay A moment where it all fits into place A polaroid in the scorching sun, Just fading out, coming undone What is so hard about just starting again? I’m bone tired, I’m exhausted I can’t not pull on that same thread But being late’s the new early and I’ve got time I’m primed with matches and gasoline (The americanism fit the rhyming scheme) Either way, it burns the same I at least deserved a better nemesis Than this backward-faced doppelganger, this... You don’t get what you want, you get what you need Now I’m clean In moments of clarity Snatched microseconds in the inbetween A billion exploding stars at night Drowned out by a buzzing streetlight How can anyone find energy to try? Like an unrelenting echo, Didn’t you hear the one about tomorrow? The one about how everything will get better? Slip into the cycle again Can it be broken? Is this the end? A billion exploding stars at night Drowned out by a buzzing streetlight How can anyone find energy to try? Like an unrelenting echo, Didn’t you hear the one about tomorrow? The one about how everything will get better?

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released June 24, 2020

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Brassneck Records Cardiff, UK

Brassneck Records began life in 2010 as a punk vinyl distro via a spare bedroom in a terraced house in Cardiff (UK). 2013 (finally) saw Brassneck attain "label" status with the release of the debut LP from Chestnut Road (technically the 3rd release on the label). ... more

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